Recipe: How to fuck up a FRIENDSHIP

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  • Monday, October 31, 2011
  • We can gather the ingredients but when it is going to be cooked is not certain. You have to be ready, as soon as the flame is on, start off with the preparation.

    Gargi Mishra

    Preparation time: One month

    Key Ingredients:
    A professionally and personally frustrated boy (above 20) and a girl (above20)
    Two good hearts and little brain which is already exhausted.

    Sub Ingredients:
    An ex- relationship (count depends from person to person) or a one which is in the state of dying will also work.
    Work pressure: (24x7)
    No pressure/Jobless resulting Insomnia
    Family obligations (Career change/Marriage)
    Fear of losing (Ego) i.e. not being revolutionary. And last but not the least,
    Cheap call rates and late night talks (to be noted ‘Oxytocin: the love hormone’ gets hyper active during night hours.)

    Serves: All the learners

    Two most interesting facts: The two most interesting fact about this recipe is as following:-

    1. We can gather the ingredients but when it is going to be cooked is not certain. You have to be ready, as soon as the flame is on, start off with the preparation.

    2. There is no chef to prepare the recipe the key ingredients play the role of the chef.

    Method of Preparation: (Uncertain/ Non conformist approach)

    Day 1st: A girl and a boy (above conditions applied) come to know each other. They both are professional and by curse belong to the same profession (flame is on… now just see how the deliciously is cooked)

    Day 5th: They share their professional problems, one being in job and another being jobless from some time (frying pan is set on the flame)

    Their habits and hobbies are almost similar; they share the same zodiac; their favorite color and food are also the same, you can say that they are photocopies… (Oil is added in the frying pan…)

    Day10th: They start talking over phone and remember their childhood days, they don’t miss their best friends (who got busy in their lives) any more… (Oil is heated).

    Day15th: One day they share their personal lives with each other and tell their story till 3 o’ clock in the morning that how they became a Romeo or a Juliet… (Perhaps they didn’t have an idea that no sooner they are going to be next ‘Brutus’ Alas!)... (Spices added to the oil)

    Day 17th: Day by day they start getting closer and they feel that this is my angel, my love… (Mutton done into pieces and added to the spices).

    Day19th: They love each other’s company but they are not revolutionary in nature. They fall in the vicious cycle of commitments and the fights are on (the mutton is burning the flame is still on).

    Day21st: Now they have stopped talking to each other and they do not share any ideas but they do miss each other. After a long resistance they again start talking to each other but this time they learn a thing that ‘friendship is the best bliss’ and ‘they do not want to lose a best friend’… (For the time being mutton is saved from getting fully burned)

    Day 25th: Now both the friends are happy and are enjoying their lives and their friendship to the fullest… (Salt is added to taste and mouthwatering mutton is getting ready and nice aroma is coming)

    Day28th: While they were talking over phone and were giggling on each other’s foolishness their ex’s call is on waiting… A sudden pop in and they decide to talk after sometime…After having conversation with their ex’s they are in tears and helpless. They still don’t want to lose their best friend (Mutton is set on high flames and is burning with spices)

    Day 29th: They talk to each other again and decide that they won’t talk again forever… This was the last giggle, the last joke, the last dream, the last aim they were sharing. They don’t want but still they blame each other for all what happened and keep the phone with a bang… (Mutton overcooked and fully burned).

    Day 30th: They delete each other’s contact from their contact list, block them on social networking sites and pledge not to see each other’s face forever.(Fully burned mutton, garnished with red chilies is ready to be served).

    So friends, now you know the recipe of “How to fuck up a friendship” which is a rare delicacy. It will not only add a new taste to your plate but will also act as an appetizer…Have fun.

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